Schwubber Bubber Baby Boy… say that fives time fast. (:
Wells Robert was born two years ago today and I am the biggest bag of feels. Here’s a small glimpse into this journey…
We have never found out the genders of our kids while pregnant. While I know this isn’t for everyone, this was a unanimous decision Kyle and I made with each pregnancy. It’s such an incredible surprise to see who was in there that whole time, and I hold those moments very VERY close to my heart. For those who might be new here, we have three girls and a boy. Prior to Wells, we heard quite frequently “ah, going to try for that boy huh?” It always struck me as annoying (because they would usually say it in front of our girls) but I’d give them a break because many were just making small talk. Kyle’s reply was so sweet about it too…always answering with “I love my girls… we just want a healthy baby.” As cliche as it sounds, it’s the very truth. We had gone through a stressful year of selling and moving to our new home, and suffering two miscarriages. We were ready, the girls were ready, it was an exciting time to both welcome this new little one, but also accomplish the journey of trusting my body again after the heartache that had ensued.
All my kids came about week after my due date, so it was no surprise when this little one didn’t make their entrance on the possible May 14th due date. On the 19th, Kyle and I had snuck away for an ultrasound and then squeezed in a movie date to see Deadpool 2. What else does one do while waiting for baby?! During the ultrasound, the technician suggested I might be having a 8.5-9lb baby which we both giggled about. All my girls ranged from 7-8 lbs. and honestly… as nice as it would be to know the size, its all just an estimated guess. We came home to a sleeping household and went to bed to start another day.
I woke up around 2am feeling like… well like I ate something that didn’t agree with me. After going to the bathroom and welcoming a little relief I decided to go sit in the living room rocker to see if that would help. I remember that moment vividly. Sitting in the complete dark with the neighbors house lights offering little shadows on the walls, the ticking of a new clock that I loved to look at but hated the sound, and comforted by a house full of sleeping bodies. I didn’t even think about the possibility that I was in labor which is funny looking back now. I drifted in and out for a bit before waking up at 4:30am with a contraction. I waited to see if they became consistent. It quickly began to feel like Christmas morning with excitement and thought I should go take a shower and maybe tell Kyle what was going on. I waddled back to our bedroom and woke him up gently sharing “I’m ok, but I think things are starting.” He got up and asked if he had time to shower and I said “Of course, I think I’ll take one too to get ready.” With each passing labor I added more and more ‘rituals’ and I like to ‘get ready’ much like I would before a basketball or softball game. I liked to be freshly showered, with my ‘uniform’ for laboring and listen to certain kinds of music and meditations. I was already looking forward to those parts. We headed into the bathroom and he started the shower, took off his shirt when I had a very… very intense contraction out of no where….when I opened my eyes he had already turned off the shower and was putting his shirt back on over his un-showered body. He kindly said “I think we should head to hospital now…” and I agreed.
Our hospital was a solid 35 minutes away… and during that time I was in the back of the car with my mom… asking Kyle to pull over so I could put one of the Depends I had brought on because I was feeling like I was “going to shit myself.” (Ha. TMI! This blog is called Greetings from the John isn’t it?) Without skipping a beat and trusting our previous labor experiences he politely shared that there were towels in the back and that I could do whatever I needed to do, but he was not going to stop. Later he told me based on the sounds I was making, he knew no moment could be spared. We pulled up to the maternity entrance at 5:55am… five minutes before they technically opened but thankfully the attendant saw the state I was in and hurriedly opened up doors swiping his key card left and right. Thanks to him we made it inside in record time. With a quick tense moment in the maternity ward we were placed in a room ready for the final stretch. It still amazes me how modesty truly goes out the window during that time… I had no qualms shedding most of my clothes knowing our baby would be earth side sooner than later.
Everything else felt like an eternity and a blink all in the same breath. It felt like I only pushed three times but who knows. The baby was placed on my chest and I was able to take a pause… to catch my breath… and come back to earth… opening my eyes to see all the anticipating faces. We decided with this labor that I would share the gender of the baby which had everyone in the room on bated breath. Ten toes, ten fingers, head full of hair just like all our other babies…. finally I looked up at Kyle and said “Oh my God Bubba, it’s a boy!” We couldn’t believe it. After some time they took him to be measured and weighed and from across the room one of the nurses shares “10lbs 2oz.” to which our doula (who had been a very quiet and steadfast woman) said “Holy SHIT.” Guys… TEN POUNDS without meds, no tears, nothing. There is no right or wrong way to birth your baby, just your way. And I had done it my way and I was proud.
We had a couple girl names and a couple boy names but we knew we couldn’t name them until we met them. Truthfully, our ‘top’ boy name was Rhodes, but as soon as we met him we both quickly agreed he was no Rhodes. Another name on our list was Wells, a name I had always kept close after reading about Welles Crowther , an American hero who had passed during the attacks on 9/11. Robert was after our late Grandpa who had passed, it was all the perfect match.
Wells did have to stay in the NICU for a couple of days because of rapid breathing. I think his body was just trying to catch up. That part was really hard because there was a lot of uncertainty, but Kyle and I just leaned on each other and Wells was very brave. The girls were able to meet him before hand and they were SO excited. Olive proclaimed, “I KNEW IT WAS A BOY!” Which she did! She always insisted it was a boy. They all love him something fierce, and at times I feel unworthy to witness that love. I hope he will always be a puddle of love for his sisters and know he will always be their Wellsy even if he is towering over them.
So here we are….two years later. This might be my fourth time over but still feel at times like I don’t know what I am doing, nor can believe how fast this time goes by. Wells is a cuddle bug, he is friggin’ LOUD, he can be very meticulous and thoughtful like his Papa, he loves his blanket, Toy Story, snacks, and freedom. Does he make our family complete? Every child we’ve had completes our family. Are we done having kids…. that’s a question I don’t have an answer for…. I am really enjoying this season of our life, and I am tired. (: I can’t help though but wonder if someone is missing and sometimes it’s a grey area of missing those to come, or those who were a loving whisper in our story. Yea, I can’t answer that…. but Kyle does like to joke and say “It only takes one night of passion, De Der!”
Thank you for letting me share this story with you. It is really nice to get it down on paper, and look back on it someday. Happy Birthday Wells Robert… our Schwubbs… the Bubs…Shwubber Bubber Baby Boy.